Business to Consumer for Living Well Spine Center
Mock-up outline of a patient story.
Paragraph 1, version 1 (Introduction with direct quote): I had a chance to sit down with one of our patients and inquire on her journey with Living Well Spine Center (doesn’t have to be first person, I can speak “as” the Living Well Spine Center or not). I asked her what preconceptions she had with chiropractors before she came to our care.
She said, “I was concerned about the stories I had heard from other people going to a Chiropractor. I had assumed all Chiropractors would twist people into ‘pretzels’ and force their spines back into place. That seemed very intrusive and not necessarily good for the body.”
Paragraph 1, version 2 (Introduction with paraphrasing): I had a chance to sit down with one of our patients and inquire on her journey with Living Well Spine Center. I asked her what preconceptions she had with chiropractors before she came to our care. She told me she was concerned about the stories she had heard from other people going to a Chiropractor. Sonja had assumed all Chiropractors would twist people into ‘pretzels’ and force their spines back into place. Her thought was that it seemed very intrusive and not necessarily good for the body.
Paragraph 2, version 1 (Discovering what lead the patient to chiropractic care direct quote): I then asked her what lead her to chiropractic care and what health issues she might have been dealing with.
She responded, “My husband and I started considering chiropractic care when I was pregnant with our second child. My husband started first with Dr. McCoskey (at that time, it was Fairborn Chiropractic with Dr. Moon), looking for relief from Sciatica. He found some relief right away. I was experiencing pregnancy-related sciatica and decided to also give chiropractic care a try. It relieved a lot of the sciatica.
Months later, our son, Ehron, was born. We hadn’t truly thought of taking our children to see Dr. McCoskey until Ehron was about 3 or 4 weeks old.”
Paragraph 2, version 2, (Discovering what lead the patient to chiropractic care in a paraphrase): I then asked her what lead her to chiropractic care and what health issues she might have been dealing with. Sonja said her and her husband started considering chiropractic care when she became pregnant with her second child. Her husband started first with Dr. McCoskey (at that time, it was Fairborn Chiropractic with Dr. Moon), looking for relief from Sciatica. He found some relief right away. Sonja was experiencing pregnancy-related sciatica and decided to also give chiropractic care a try. It tremendously relieved her sciatica the first time. Months later, their son, Ehron, was born. They hadn’t truly thought of taking their children to see Dr. McCoskey until Ehron was about 3 or 4 weeks old.
Paragraph 3, version 1, (Looking deeper into the health issues, first person): It’s not uncommon for a child to attend chiropractic care, but it isn’t necessarily the norm either. So I went deeper and asked about her son and the health issues he was dealing with at the time. She then explained to me what all was occurring for her son.
When Ehron was 3-4 weeks old, he was experiencing constipation. At the time, the only “food” he was on was my breast milk. For 3 or 4 days straight, I kept a journal of the foods I would eat and how Ehron would react to them. I was also supplementing with vitamins and herbs that supported healthy bowel functions. There was no improvement for Ehron’s health. Our pediatrician suggested giving Ehron over-the-counter medication. We did. Nothing — still no bowel movements. Next step? Exploratory surgery. I thought, “No way am I allowing my 3-week old son to go under exploratory surgery. That’s ridiculous!” Dr. McCoskey suggested we give chiropractic care a try. That made more sense as he explained the spine is like a garden hose. Nerve signals are like the water that runs through it. When you step on a hose, or it becomes kinked in some way, water (nerve signals) still get through, however not at the capacity they were designed to move. When you straighten out the hose, or spinal column, circulation runs the way God intended. My husband took Ehron. At the time, we lived 3 blocks from Dr. McCoskey’s office. Dr. McCoskey explained what he was going to do, he did it, Ehron didn’t cry but only looked at Dr. McCoskey… and then? Bowel movements started right away. So quick in fact, Dr. M handed Ehron over quite quickly and my husband had to rush to get him home. (With longer quotes like these, normally we’d indent it into its own paragraph, like so).
Paragraph 3, version 2, (Looking deeper into the health issues, paraphrasing): It’s not uncommon for a child to attend chiropractic care, but it isn’t necessarily the norm either. So I went deeper and asked about her son and the health issues he was dealing with at the time. She then explained to me what all was occurring for her son. She said when her son, Ehron, was 3-4 weeks old, he was experiencing constipation. At the time, the only “food” he was on was her breast milk. For 3 or 4 days straight, she kept a journal of the foods she would eat and how Ehron would react to them. She was also supplementing with vitamins and herbs that supported healthy bowel functions. However, there was no marked improvement for Ehron’s health. She said their pediatrician suggested giving Ehron over-the-counter medication. They did. Nothing — still no bowel movements. Their next step? Exploratory surgery. She told me she thought, “No way am I allowing my 3-week old son to go under exploratory surgery. That’s ridiculous!” Dr. McCoskey suggested that they test chiropractic care instead especially considering the lowered risk in comparison to surgery (pointing out here how Western medicine can be extreme and how chiropractic care is less severe and dangerous). That made more sense to them as Dr. McCoskey explained the spine is like a garden hose. Nerve signals are like the water that runs through it. When you step on a hose, or it becomes kinked in some way, water (nerve signals) still get through, however, not at the capacity they were designed to move. When you straighten out the hose, or spinal column, circulation runs the way God intended. Sonja’s husband then took Ehron. At the time, they lived 3 blocks from Dr. McCoskey’s office. Dr. McCoskey explained what he was going to do and then proceeded, Ehron apparently didn’t even cry but only looked at Dr. McCoskey… and then? Bowel movements started right away. So quick in fact, Dr. M handed Ehron over quite quickly and my husband had to rush to get him home.
Paragraph 4, version 1 (Showing improvement, first person): After her testimony, I asked Sonja what health issues cleared up after the first chiropractic appointment.
She told me, “After that, Ehron continued to have healthy bowel movements. No surgery was needed.”
Paragraph 4, version 2 (Showing improvement, paraphrasing): After her testimony, I asked Sonja what health issues cleared up after the first chiropractic appointment. She told me that after her first appointment, her son didn’t need any surgery at all because his constipation had passed.
Paragraph 5, version 1 (Showing marked improvement after several month of attending appointments, direct quote): I was excited to hear of Sonja’s success, but I was curious about after that, was that the only success she had with chiropractic care, was it only a one time thing? So I asked her what health issues improved after several months of appointments.
She explained, “After that, Chiropractic care become a family affair. We also started bringing our daughter, at the time, she was age 2. We noticed our kids weren’t as sick as often as other children. My husband and I noticed that our energy level had improved and the sciatica pain was gone after a few months of appointments.”
Paragraph 5, version 2 (Showing marked improvement after several month of attending appointments, paraphrasing): I was pleased to hear of Sonja’s success, but I was curious about after that, was that the only success she had with chiropractic care, was it only a one time thing? So I asked her what health issues improved after several months of appointments. She explained that after her son’s initial appointment, Chiropractic care become a family affair for them. They also decided to start bringing their daughter, at the time, she was age 2. They began to notice that their kids weren’t as sick as often as other children they knew. Sonja’s husband and her also noticed that their energy level had improved and the sciatica pain was gone after a few months of appointments.
Paragraph 6, version 1, (Showing success of lifelong chiropractic care, direct quote): I was astonished by that testimony (a little fake surprise and praise of the success makes it seem more genuine, or I can say, “We at the Living Well Spine Center were deeply gladdened by this testimony”) so I asked her how the overall quality of life improved for her son throughout the years of chiropractic care. He shared with us.
He said, “Anytime I slept wrong on my neck, fell over and twisted my back, I thought the pain would take weeks to heal from, but Dr. Terry was only a phone call away. I’m so blessed to be able to make in a quick appointment and have that pain immediately cleared up, a day of rest and I’m better than ever! I feel hydrated and energetic. After all, the spine is mostly made of water, and when the spine is happy I’m happy.”
Paragraph 6, version 2, (Showing success of lifelong chiropractic care, paraphrasing): I was astonished by that testimony, so I asked her how the overall quality of life improved for her son throughout the years of chiropractic care. He shared with us and told me that anytime he slept wrong on his neck, fell over and twisted his back, he thought the pain would take weeks to heal, but Dr. Terry was only a phone call away, he said. He told me he was so blessed to be able to fit in a quick appointment in emergencies and have that pain immediately cleared up, a day of rest and he said he felt better than ever. He says he feels hydrated and energetic. After all, the spine is mostly made of water, and when the spine is happy, you’re happy.
Paragraph 7, version 1, (wrapping up to make the reader feel closure and assured that chiropractic care isn’t fake, the selling point to persuade the reader to make an appointment to seek help, direct quote): I was so happy over this families’ success with their health, but I thought about all of the other families who still have preconceptions about chiropractors. What if they never seek help because they’re afraid? So I asked Sonja if she would recommend Living Well Spine center to anyone and how she would go about it.
She said, “I would recommend chiropractic care to everyone! The body cannot support, nor heal itself if it’s not operating at full capacity. Chiropractic care keeps the body’s systems healthy so that they can do the job of keeping the body and mind healthy.” (This is to show the power of a person’s credibility and how they can persuade people to your business, perhaps better than you or a magazine article ever could.)
Paragraph 7, version 2, (wrapping up to make the reader feel closure and assured that chiropractic care isn’t fake, the selling point to persuade the reader to make an appointment to seek help, paraphrasing): I was so happy over this families’ success with their health, but I thought about all of the other families who still have preconceptions about chiropractors. What if they never seek help because they’re afraid? So I asked Sonja if she would recommend Living Well Spine center to anyone and how she would go about it. She told me she would recommend chiropractic care to everyone she knew. She stated that the body cannot support, nor heal itself if it’s not operating at full capacity. Chiropractic care keeps the body’s systems healthy so that they can do the job of keeping the body and mind healthy.
End Notes: My recommendation for your stories would be a journalistic style mixed with a free styling blog post. Blog posts are great with connecting to real people, it’s comforting and it’s an easy approach. But, like social media, it lacks a certain credibility, blog posts never seem to be accurate, or at least you doubt if they’re correct or not. Like a Facebook post saying there were scientific studies done, I myself hardly finish reading the title, scoff, and scroll down. A journalism style is excellent for the hard facts, showing people statistics, reports, statements, never say your patient “claimed” or “felt” because saying, “claim” doubts your patient is saying the right thing and “felt” is for fiction, we never know what a person feels unless they tell us. Even then, we say, “Our patient said, ‘I feel sad’,” never assume anything, only apply valid and concrete statements. But journalism is cold, it makes us think of news reporters saying, “Blah blah blah,” and you roll your eyes thinking, “Ohh news people, so boring,” but mixing these two styles may give you the best of both worlds.