Amsterdam, Holland, Nederland

Ever get confused what to call the Netherlands? First thing’s first — I finally found the answers to this typical, American confusion. Disclaimer: I’m sorry, Dutch citizens for my ignorance — I’m learning. I had the chance to go to the Rijksmuseum and see art and culture as well as learn about the history of the Netherlands. In 1522, the Hapsburg family split between Austria and Spain (to keep it simple, remember that it’s traditional, confusing marriages and alliances that always start European wars).

Charles V declared that the seventeen provinces of the Netherlands belonged to Spain. You read that right. Seventeen provinces… more provinces than Germany and the Netherlands is tiny! But they have seventeen, crazy. In 1568, the 80 Years War took place, which was an independent, northern Netherlands revolting against Spain. What’s a recurring trend? Religion. What happened in the early and mid 1500s? The Protestant Reformation.

Northern Netherlands declared themselves as Protestant, while southern Netherlands were Catholic and sympathetic to Spain. “Southern Netherlands” refers to Belgium and Luxembourg, actually. Belgium being in the possession of Spain and very Catholic before Napoleon took over those territories in the 1800s, of course. Both Belgium and Luxembourg rebelled in the mid 1800s from the Netherlands and they attained their independence. So, Holland was the province with Amsterdam, the capital. It was wealthy, strong, and one of the first group provinces to be independent from Spain and hold up the “Protestant banner” against their Catholic Spanish oppressors. So, it’s no surprise that we in the States always hear “Holland” being thrown around as if Holland equaled the whole of the Netherlands — but it doesn’t.

These revolts turned rebellion turned independent Netherlands at war adding the extra context of Protestants revolting against the order of Catholicism. Fascinating stuff. I learned all this at the Rijksmuseum and spent most of the day there until my whole body begged me to lay down, which I didn’t because there was too much to see! But I was able to see works by Rembrandt and Vincent van Gogh, which I absolutely adored. I love art so much. I also included a picture of their largest painting — “The Battle of Waterloo” by Jan Willem Pieneman, 1824. It was actually a gift meant for the Duke of Wellington, but the Dutch Crown Prince, later King William II of the Netherlands, bought it first (he’s shown in the foreground on the stretcher).

That library was impressive. People were actually studying on the ground floor, too. I loved the smell of old books, the wooden shelves, and the silence. Shh. Love me some peace and quiet.

And as you can see by the first photo above, and not surprisingly, is Napoleon Bonaparte’s hand in the history. Napoleon placed his brother as king of the Netherlands. The Netherlands had been a republic for a very long time. This is the added confusion for us who may not be aware — I remembered hearing of a royal family of the Netherlands, but I was confused because I also thought that they were exclusively a republic. After the fall of Napoleon, they reformed the United Netherlands. Another name you might’ve heard.

You might be thinking, “Awe, the Netherlands were united, how nice.” But it’s not that simple. United refers to having the provinces of Luxembourg and Belgium within the country. This fascinates me because the Netherlands is cute, little, and they’re all chill because they legalized weed, right?

Well, let us not forget that they were a huge colonizer and were apparently the last European country to abolish slavery in 1863… Please hold onto this because as an American, so many of us complain and act as if the U.S. was the last country in the world to banish slavery, but we weren’t. The Netherlands saw rebellions in their colonized territories forcing their hand to abolish slavery. Again, history isn’t simple, it isn’t black and white — it’s complex. That’s why my advice is to take it as it is. Don’t hold up a country over another by only focusing on its failings or triumphs.

At the very least, it was simply informative to read through the history and view the art. The video below of the Rijksmuseum was thrilling to take. The jellyfish-like lanterns were mesmerizing. I could have watched them all day.

Speaking of weed, Ehron ate a “space cake.” Interestingly enough, I didn’t notice the cold of the day as much and I also had really good sleep that night. I find this dilemma fascinating. It’s like the U.S. You’re one foot inside Colorado or the Netherlands and this singular thing is legal. Step a foot outside and it is suddenly a criminal offense. I’ve thought about this a lot.

It’s really ridiculous when you try it yourself and you realize something — it’s not an addictive substance, it’s no more harmful than alcohol (or sugar for that fact), and it made me feel at ease. Now, I’m not an avid connoisseur or anything. I’ve sold my soul to coffee, actually. So I don’t really desire it per se, but I enjoy it when I can get it legally. So, I don’t have time for people who are vehemently against it. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I respect that, but this substance has actually been used far longer than the ‘80s (yes, baby boomers — you didn’t invent smoking weed).

Regardless, I spent a lovely time in their central park, Vondelpark. I read the “v” in a German way, so I read it as, “fondel park,” and then I think of “fondle park” and I laugh… easily entertained. Nevertheless, it’s named after a famous seventeenth-century poet and playwright, Joost van den Vondel.

There he is! You can’t have a park named after you without a massive statue. I also got to see a proposal happen to the left of this picture. They smiled and hugged, so I think it was a “yes.” This park had winding path, was relatively flat, a good amount of trees, but I was mostly surprised by its simplicities. Again, I have an appreciation for the German parks — lush foliage and allowing things to naturally grow and live, less precise manicuring. Still a gorgeous park to walk through, though.

I enjoyed being able to walk the streets and see the river boats, the activity, and I also happened to show up on the first day of St. Nikolaus “visiting,” I believe. So the streets were packed with movement and festivities. I loved watching the “helpers,” who wore fifteenth-century-looking garments, which reminded me of the role of “elves” and Santa. No surprise, the creators of Santa based him off of St. Nikolaus traditions. Thus, another reason Santa is just a lame, off-brand, Americanized version of St. Nikolaus — who is way cooler than Santa, just saying.

The boats and the rivers reminded me of what Venice could look like. So many waterways that people traveled on. I thought it was fascinating. There was also one boat where a guy was taking pictures. I thought this was funny because I was taking pictures of him taking pictures of me — we both waved to each other and I had myself a chuckle.

As the day passed into night, there was one more thing on my checklist. Go see the red light district. Like a typical tourist, I looked it up on Google. How do you know you’ve arrived? There really are red lights all over the place, it’s not hard to miss. Also, you know when you see sex shops and posters for “live videos” with unnaturally tan and smooth nude people.

Here’s my assessment: I’ve long been on the fence and unsure of how I, personally, judge legalized prostitution. I have heard many, many sides to this. But, I’ve finally come to a decision — I don’t support it. Now, before you leave some angry little comment, read my reasoning.

I walked down these streets and in the alleys, I saw women in revealing outfits in a phone booth-sized glass partitioned rooms with curtains behind them. They were trying to entice people to enter for their services. Of course, as a gay Christian man, I’m far from their target audience. Not just that, though, these were human beings. They have parents, family, and friends. Yet, they were being presented as something only physical. I feel this demeans their worth and intelligence.

I also think it’s unsafe — “But, they have doctor’s checkups and regulations when it’s legal” and blah, blah, blah — I hear your concerns, Trisha! I just made up that name, there is no Trisha. Regardless, I feel that having these women displayed in a glass box like meat at a deli market promotes heterosexual men use women as their objects. As I walked out of there to find a burger joint (something that interests me far more than prostitutes), some grubby, little, young men walked by me and asked where the red light district was. I pointed them to it and then cringed. I also think that sex is a vulnerable action and is most beautiful when shared with someone you love and trust. So, I feel it’s unsafe for their emotional and psychological well-being.

I say this for men, too. If I had seen a man, I’d say the same thing. Male prostitutes don’t appeal to me, either. Again, they’re human beings with names. I understand it’s their choice and they’re protected by law and apparently there’s equality in legalizing this and blah blah blah. But that’s my utmost personal opinion. I support people’s decisions to do what they will with their lives, but you can’t tell me that prostitution is considered a respectable trade in the world by society. It never has been before.

People like to partake in prostitution, but they don’t respect the people who work in the industry and I don’t think that will ever change. And is that a career choice for their whole lives? What happens when that person reaches a certain age? The institution will discard them, not respect them. I also understand that we all switch our trade/careers. Just because I went to college for a particular degree doesn’t mean that I will work a job in that field for my entire life. But, prostitution is a far shorter lived “career” option.

And this leads us to Ehron’s Takeaways

• A Must-See: You do have to see the red light district to say that you saw it, right? It’s one of those places that people say, “Oh, so you went to Amsterdam?” They’ll ask if you smoked any weed and/or if you saw the red light district.

• What I Recommend: I would go to at least one smoke shop. If you don’t like the thought of weed — smell, flavor, etc., then just get a coffee and look at the environment. It feels like any other coffee shop. Then, maybe try some “special” brownies or something. That’s an easy way to try it. Always split it in half if it’s your first time. But, this is my recommendation — don’t knock it till you try it. Saying that, I guess I could say the same for the red light district. But, hey, I visited it — I don’t need to partake in prostitution to understand if I “condone” it or not.

• My Favorite Place: I loved the Rijksmuseum. It was really expensive and they didn’t have student tickets, which annoyed me. But, it was worth it to see Rembrandt and van Gogh. It was so huge that you could quite literally spend the whole day there.

I’ll leave you with a final farewell video.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time, lovelies,

Ehron